Mar 12, 2025

Feedback That Builds

Feedback lands best when the walls are down.

But too often, it does the opposite. It raises shields. Because even when intentions are good, the words feel sharp. The tone feels off. And the brain - wired for survival, not nuance - reads threat where you meant support.

It doesn't matter how thoughtful or constructive the feedback is. If the other person is in defence mode, they won't hear a word of it. They'll hear judgment. They'll hear risk. They'll hear “you're not good enough.” That's why intention isn't enough. Clarity is what cuts through.

So be clear.

​Not in a vague, corporate tone. In plain language. “You're doing well. I want to help you do even better.” Or, “This is something I wish someone told me earlier in my career - I think it might help.” You're not correcting.

Feedback delivered too late becomes irrelevant or awkward. Deliver it while the moment's fresh and the actions are remembered. But always with context. Always with care.

Because the goal of feedback isn't to win an argument. It's to build someone up without them feeling torn down.

If you're trying to improve how feedback lands, a product management coach can help you practise framing it in a way that actually builds trust.

Frame it right, and feedback becomes a shield. Not a weapon.
Offer feedback as a clear, well-intentioned shield that disarms defensiveness and strengthens rather than harms
About Max Antonov
I’m Max, a father of two, Product Director & Product Coach from Sydney. I write about leadership, product management and life.
Feel free to reach out: [email protected].
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